• Personal Stylist | Tonya J.

How to Change Your Life: My Story of Transformation

Updated: Sep 26, 2020

Today, I’ve decided to share my personal story of how I changed my life both personally and professionally a few years ago. I know I still have much more to experience as I grow spiritually in my personal development journey, but I thought today would be a good starting point to help you understand that there is always a greater purpose beyond the doubt, fear, and uncertainty that you might be feeling regardless of where you are in the stages of building your SOULFUL business and most importantly living your best, AUTHENTIC life.

You are absolutely, positively supposed to be reading the words on this page if you are about to embark on an important life transition or you are currently experiencing one and are feeling somewhat stuck and overwhelmed. Change is inevitable, and if you are not equipped with a holistic blueprint of how you are going to navigate that particular life transformation you run the risk of being trapped in a life that doesn’t align with your core values or your authentic purpose in life. I can speak to such a life because I was once where you are; at a crossroad, intuitively knowing I wanted more for my life but unsure or rather fearful of how I was going to make it happen.

Seeds of Transition

In my final year of university, something shifted in me. My passion and excitement for what I was diligently studying to become, a Social Justice Lawyer, waned and my interest in the legal profession was no longer an absolute, I MUST achieve this goal. Nothing in my life was working for me anymore; my grades were suffering, I was juggling motherhood as a single parent and I had just broken up with my ex-boyfriend, who I later found out was in fact an abusive, Covert Narcissist (narcissistic abuse is a very real occurrence), which left me feeling physically exhausted, spiritually drained and emotionally disconnected from my life and the people I cared for the most.

I essentially shut down and felt like a walking corpse. Being the stubborn Taurus that I am meant that quitting was not an option. So, I buried my emotions (not recommended) and managed to stay on track with my studies, graduating from my pre-law program with an impressive GPA, which gave me the option of applying to grad school. I felt as though I had finally made it over the finish line, but I intuitively sensed an unnamable void deep within me that left me feeling unfulfilled and anxious about what was going to be my next move? Reflecting back on that dark period of my life, I now realize the universe was preparing me for a life-changing transformation; however, I needed to be incubated for a period so that I could fully comprehend why I needed to be spiritually detoxed, before embarking on my NEW life and style transformation.

The Lesson

I spent the next couple of years wandering through life trying to figure out why I felt so empty and without purpose. Life at this point had become miserably routinized and mundane. My social life essentially had become non-existent at this point; preferring the solitude of an unconscious, self-imposed isolation (also not recommended). I did not realize at that point in my life that what I most needed was a complete life and style overhaul! One that reflected my core personal values and a life that was not scripted by society or family expectations – A life on my own terms. The defining moment for me happened when a close family member passed away suddenly from Diabetes and then shortly after her passing, my great aunt was diagnosed with aggressive stage 4 lung cancer. Having watched her battle cancer with such tenacity, courage and integrity reminded me at that moment that our time here on earth is short and our life’s purpose should not be wasted in mediocrity or chasing after fancy titles that are not serving our highest purpose. I made a very conscious decision that I would no longer accept or allow society and other people’s scripts of how my life ought to be lived to be dictated to me. I leaped and actively chose to redesign my life, one that now authentically aligns with my passion and purpose in life. It was during this transformation in my life when I began to ask the questions I was too afraid and spiritually closed off to receiving the answers to; you know, the questions that most people would classify as being too woo-woo and out there!

I do not believe anything in life happens by coincidence. Sometimes that sparkling, symbolic trophy we are working ourselves to death to accomplish or “magically” manifest into our life, without doing the necessary inner work, is the very same tool the universe will turn around on us and use to teach us a life lesson that ultimately propels us into another direction in life; whether we are prepared to do so, or not. My lived experiences during this very difficult time in my life motivated me to take ALL my regrets and toxic experiences and transform them into an awakened, passionate and thriving life with CLARITY + STYLE.

New Beginnings

As the adage goes ‘change is never easy’ the more I meditated and took specific actionable steps towards revamping my life the more empowered, focused, and intentional I became in creating a purposeful life, a life that is dedicated to coaching other women, such as yourself, who are also experiencing major shifts in their own life and require additional support transforming from the old to the new. My path was not an easy one. There were many sleepless nights I would sit in the still darkness questioning my very existence. It was a time of rebuilding my inner faith in my abilities and talent, but also in a greater divine source that I would come to rely upon through prayer and meditation for strength, support, and guidance.

On January 1, 2016, I began to slowly piece together the vision of what is now Renaissance Woman of Style. I knew that I was passionate about supporting women to feel more connected and inspired to embrace their image and personal style and having that shine through their visual branding message as soulful entrepreneurs. My goal as your Color & Style Coach is to help and support you in reconnecting to the essence of your personal brand. My journey thus far has been challenging, exhilarating, and most importantly transformational. Whether you found my color and style programs by happenstance or universal alignment I invite you to consider where your life is today, both personally and professionally, and where you would like it to be 1-3 years from now.

Then ask yourself – What if?

Until next time! Personal Stylist Tonya J. xoxo

If you are interested in learning more about developing your personal style and brand to authentically align with the essence of who you are as a soulful female entrepreneur, I encourage you to check out our 2-Day Personal Style & Brand Audit sessions; which I offer to female entrepreneurs who are ready to transition and evolve their style and brand with


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